Why did I put on a "I Just Voted" sticker on to my golf shirt? I certainly wasn't proud. I had just voted for a Superior Court Judge because he was a Jew. I had just voted for a D.A. because the L.A. Times had told me whom to vote for. I had just voted for a Supervisor and I don't even know what a Supervisor does. Don't get me started about Propositions. Yes means no. No means yes.
My polling place was at a Fellowship Hall a few blocks away. The Wife and I took a leisurely stroll over there. We arrived safely after nearly falling seven times tripping over the crumbling sidewalks beneath us. My guess is that fixing the infrastructure was not one of the Propositions that I was going to be voting on today.
Upon our arrival we were greeted by the election volunteers. They seemed like folks that had been laid off recently by the DMV. They all looked like they would rather be home watching a show about extreme couponers. One of the officials looked at me like I was a 1%'er. I wish.
There were no other voters there. That gave me hope that my vote might actually mean something. The emptiness was disappointing. I felt that it was important to vote for people that you knew nothing about. Obviously, others didn't feel the same. Come on America.
Because the turnout was so low the Fellowship Hall had rented out half of their facility to a group of actors that had once appeared on an episode of T.J. Hooker. They were selling their autographed photos at discounted prices. I actually thought that Adrian Zmed looked pretty good.
I might have voted for another senatorial candidate other than the incumbent if given a choice. None stood out. Except for the one that wanted to outlaw any new Mario Batali recipes. The opposition challengers represented many diverse political parties. Some that wanted to cut down trees. Some that wanted to live in trees. A sample of a few of the bizarre political parties: Lenin/McCartney Party, Homophobic Show Tune Party, Republican Party, Socialist Gaga Party, Lawnmowers United Party, and What Time's The Party.
When it comes to voting for Judges I always vote for the Jewish guy. Sorry, I just do. I see the name Cohen and I figure I might have a shot if I ever get into his courtroom. I see the Aryan name Stockton Jr. and I figure that I will soon be having an affair with Big Earl in a cramped cell.
I voted for one of the candidates for the office of D.A. because the L.A. Times endorsed her. Cut me some slack. I got lazy this election cycle. I don't always agree with what the L.A. Times says. For instance they gave "The Dictator" a bad review. Hey, the movie made me laugh. I might not recommend it, but it was a fun 90 minutes.
I voted for a County Supervisor. There was some name recognition. Actually, the name that I recognized was my own. The Wife was hoping that I would finish voting soon she yelled out. She said that she had something to do in August!!!! Once again - annoying Wife subtlety. Anyway, can you tell me what does a Supervisor do? I know that they get parks named after them, but what do they really do?
We had a lovely Proposition in California this year. Fight cancer or raise taxes. Maybe it was raise cancer and fight taxes. Of course, there was no in between. You either smoked three packs of cigarettes a day and blew the smoke into the air ducts of infants - or - you were going to raise taxes, take away all guns, allow gay marriage and elect a black man President again.
You try to do the right thing. The right to vote cannot be undervalued. I wish more citizens had gotten off their asses and walked the few blocks to the polls. I'm not embarrassed by my "I Just Voted" sticker after all. I'm a little more embarrassed that I mentioned that I wore a golf shirt. I'm extremely happy for Judge Cohen. My D.A. is in a run-off. Can't remember whom I voted for Supervisor but I know that somebody won and I won't be unsupervised. The Proposition I voted on is now too close to call. A vote either way could tip the scales. Damn, I knew that I should have lobbied Adrian Zmed harder to vote for it.
