I must admit that I am not well versed on the politics of the Middle East. Is it Palestein; or is it Palestine? What concerns me most about that region is its powder keg mentality. Iran is going nuclear. Syria is murdering dissent. Yemen is about to air episodes of Kitchen Nightmares. Israel is simply pissed off.
Because of my love for pro football watching, I have never been much of a religious guy. Jerusalem. The Holy Land. Really hold no meaning with me. The Packers. The Raiders. Much more of an impact on my upbringing.
That being said, most of my friends are Jewish. From elementary school to my tennis buddies of today. I have had every reason in the world to be an Israel supporter even if I truly didn't understand why. That support hasn't waned.
My Jewish buddies in grammar school changed the way that I looked at the world. I'd still be collecting baseball cards if it hadn't been for my friends like Lanny. While I was engrossed in the Hardy Boys "The Secret of Mojave Gulch", he was reading "The Fountainhead". If you think that our kids are behind the Chinese youth of today; how did you think that I felt in the fifth grade? Mickey Mantle was more in my DNA than Ayn Rand.
The smartest kids in school had all been circumcised. The funniest kids in school liked lox and bagels. I was very happy that the Jewish jokesters in school let me and my goyishness into their inner circle. It was with these folks that I honed my funny bone. Before hanging with my new Jewish friends: If I saw a little girl with her front teeth missing I would say, "Hey, you look like my Grandmother!" After hanging with my new Jewish pals: If I saw a little girl with her front teeth missing I would say, "Hey, why don't you give me a kiss. I plan on growing up to be a dentist."
I have always been attracted to Jewish women. Call me crazy; but I always wanted to bed a woman that could answer questions on Meet the Press rather than a girl that was a pageant contestant. Liking Jewish women is not exactly taking the path of least resistance. I'd much rather have a colonoscopy than be around a Jewish girl experiencing extreme PMS. To be on the safe side I married a woman that was half-Jewish.
I have pointed out some valid reasons for my allegiance to Israel. Smart folk. Funny people. Opinionated women. All information gathered after happily being around Jewish folk for most of my life.
In recent years, my wife and I have become friendly with non-Jewish Middle Easterners. The horror. The horror. What can I tell you? Things happen when you have an open mind. You know what - they aren't all members of a Sleeper Cell.
My next door neighbor and her brother are from Jordan. They are certainly better neighbors than the woman that ran a pre-school at the same house before they moved in. Across the street from us is another Jordanian that lives with his partner. He is more interested in show tunes than suicide bombings.
My wife just finished working two years as a furniture buyer for a wealthy Saudi Arabia couple. They were great. They didn't insist that my wife had to wear a burka whenever emailing them. My wife, as an interior designer (please hire her), has had to work with quite a few contractors. Her favorite is Kami. He is from Iraq. He works the hardest and is the most trustworthy contractor of them all. Well; as trustworthy as a contractor can be.
Coming into contact with these folks has tempered my us against them mentality. I now see other faces when talking of escalating problems in that part of the world. A misdirected drone could have an impact on one of my neighbor's family members. I can still support Israel with out saying we need to annihilate Syria.
I don't blame my neighbors for Assad's atrocities. I don't blame my neighbors for rising oil prices. I don't blame my neighbors for harboring terrorists. I don't blame them for anything except for sometimes parking in front of my house. If I can support Israel based on my friendships over the years I can at least lend an ear to what some of my new friends have to say.
Now, if I see a little girl with her front teeth missing, I would say, "Looks like you need a Beirut canal."
Arabs aren't as funny as Jews. They aren't.
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