Iowa is known for two things. A baseball field where dead players live and its Presidential caucus.. No one ever talks of the white sands of Iowan beaches. No one ever talks of Iowan historical landmarks. No one ever talks of the Iowan art movement. Dead players and every four years a caucus. That's it.
The word caucus itself is an ugly word. "Caucus" sounds like something a proctologist should examine. After the wrong tally in last week's caucus perhaps a proctologist was needed after all. Apparently somebody other than Rick Perry made an "oops". I know that they certified the vote and didn't think there was an "oops". My money is still on "oops".
But, does it really matter who won in Iowa? It hasn't in the past. We're talking Iowa. A state about the size of Santa Barbara County. Santa Barbara, now there's a nice place to visit. Beautiful beaches and nearby wineries. They have cuisine. Not just something deep fried at a county fair. At the state fair in Iowa I'm sure they would deep fry an ipad if you asked them too. Maybe you wouldn't have to ask.
Ok, I'm being a little harsh on Iowa. Perhaps it is my reaction to the pundits' over the top diatribes about the place. The heartland. The core of America. Again, Wolf Blitzer, it is Iowa. The commentators are so excited about the official start of the election season they seem to have lost all perspective. It's like some baseball fanatic getting excited when pitchers and catchers begin to report to spring training.
People, that vote in these caucuses, often don't make up their mind until the last possible moment. Personally I didn't need to shake a candidate's hand in a photo-op diner to know whom I was going to vote for. I pretty much knew way in advance. Taking away a woman's right to choose was usually a deal breaker for me. I didn't need to go to a town hall rally and see someone like Newt Gingrich's third cousin removed make a stump speech just before I cast my ballot. I never at the last minute said, "I think I'm goin' George W".
When viewing one of the caucuses on CNN it seemed like people were looking over the shoulders of the voters in front of them. Just to see whom those folks were casting their ballots for before making their final decision. It was a scene that was very reminiscent of the peeps that cheat on the written test at the DMV. The ones that bring along a few friends to point out that parking in a green zone is not the answer. Actually I don't mind having a wing man with me at the DMV. I can never remember when it is legal to drive with my fog lamps on.
Predictably after the results are in, somebody that has no chance of winning a general election, receives a spike that no one figured was coming. Hence Rick Santorum. A man that believes in his family values. No one else's family values. Just his family values. He honestly thinks that all black people are on food stamps and that all gay people work for the Bravo network. Well, the Bravo part might be hard to argue with. The bounce he got from Iowa didn't carry over to New Hampshire. Surprise. Surprise.
Why can't Iowans just have a primary? Actual polling places to cast votes. I know that there other states that hold caucuses. But, Iowa being the first, is the one that creates all the faux buzz. Who can I talk to? I need someone to knock some sense into these folks. A power hitter. A slugger. I need Shoeless Joe Jackson. "If you build a voting booth, I will come"
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