"Margaret Thatcher. Albert Hobbs. Margaret Thatcher. Albert Hobbs. Accents I do. Not sure about the man thing. I'm going Thatcher." Meryl Streep then hung up on her agent and finished her Bud Lite.
The Academy Award nominations were announced this week. Newt Gingrich immediately blamed CNN for Ryan Gosling getting snubbed. Mississippians didn't know whether to root for or against The Help. Jonah Hill needed a new tux and Nick Nolte didn't even remember being in The Warrior.
You have to wonder who came up with the idea of the ten best picture nominees. I kinda want War Horse and Tree of Life to pull a Rick Perry and get out of the race. Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close. Are you serious? It's a movie that should have been ten minutes long - about a troubled kid and his psychiatrist played by Mandy Patinkin.
I did like a few of the nominated movies. I thought what Alexander Payne did with the Descendants was terrific. Who else could have made sunny Hawaii look like dreary Oxnard? Loved The Artist. Silence was truly golden. Although; I'm quite sure that in one scene I saw John Goodman mouthing, "Roseanne's a bitch". Midnight In Paris almost made me forget Owen Wilson's performance in Hall Pass. Almost. I'm sure that Tinker, Tailor, Solder, Spy would have been nominated if anybody could have figured out what the f..k was going on.
Happy for George with his nomination. I bet you he is thinking if he really wants to walk all the way down the red carpet with his new girlfriend Stacy Keibler. A woman that makes him look like a point guard. Brad Pitt did an amazing job in Moneyball. He was a Natural for the part. Subtle Redford reference. Demian Bichir? Anybody? Demian? Anybody? Bichir? Anybody?
So; was Rooney Mara nominated for her performance or her piercings? I've always said that if you get your nipples pierced you get nominated. I heard that Viola Davis was so into her role in The Help, that when she wasn't needed in front of the camera, she still worked over at craft services handing out Mike and Ikes. Michelle Williams as Marilyn. What they can do with CGI these days is amazing.
The toughest part of Scorcese's direction on Hugo was convincing Ben Kingsley to do the role. "Keep reading. It's not just a kid's movie. Your part's gonna get better at the end." Loved the way Woody Allen helped Owen with the role. "Do me. Just do me for Christsakes!" When notified that he had been nominated Terrence Malik said, "Freakin' Clooney can't be nominated for everything".
It's been quite a year in movies. Hangover women are just as crass as Hangover men. Michael Fassbender hit his role in Shame out of the park using his own "bat". Albert Brooks is alive and thank God Eddie Murphy backed out of hosting the Academy Awards.
"A maid's uniform. A mohawk. A feather duster. More piercings. Still feeling Thatcher." Meryl Streep then hung up on her agent, belched, and popped open another Bud Lite.
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