When I was in school my fellow classmates and I questioned authority. We never questioned science. Learning that the world wasn't flat was considered a good thing. Learning from the likes of Galileo about the universe and galaxies far far away was also considered a good thing. There was no one in my biology class that said, "Who does that Darwin guy think he is?"
What the hell has happened? Who are these believers that are actually non-believers messing with our science? Can't they separate Noah's Ark from paleontology? Generations in the past had done that for, well...generations. Here's a simple solution for these evangelical know-it-alls that question the origin of species - they all should google actor Ron Perlman. That should end the evolutionary debate right then and there. "Oh, now I see it", replied the deniers.
But, it doesn't stop there. I read in this morning's newspaper that climate change is now being debunked in some schools. Just what we need; another anti-science curriculum for our kids. That'll help us compete with the Chinese youth for years to come. These non-global warming teachers obviously don't live in the Valley when it is 102 degrees in February. These so-called "educators" disavow 99% of all scientific evidence and have chosen to accept the findings of a guy named Ludwig.
Now, I have to admit, you hear a name like Ludwig and you figure credibility. A little further research proves otherwise. It turns out that Ludwig was once fired from Mattel for getting too close to a Ken doll. Ludwig then wrote two mediocre film scripts that never got produced. Down on his luck he noticed an ad in the L.A. Times looking for a fiction writer to say that global warming was simply a myth. He got the job. Printed out his made up suppositions. Went on a few talk shows. Became pals with Sean Hannity. Then had his anti-global warming assertions be taught along side the findings of most of the world's renowned climatologists. Maybe the guy's name wasn't Ludwig. It could have been Bernard.
I feel like someone has pushed the button to the wayback machine. Everybody should be wearing Davy Crockett coonskin caps. Be brandishing "I Like Ike" buttons on their lapels. Stuffing Twinkies into their mouths. Hello...it is 2012. It wasn't better when it was separate but equal. It wasn't better that a woman's workplace was solely in the kitchen. Bonanza wasn't really that great a show. Three grown men still living with Pa. Come on.
Seriously, what is going on? Rational folk are having a hard time being heard. Conventional thought can't compete. Social networking has allowed the fringe to be much more fringe-like than ever before. Have you been listening? They say that science sucks. No evolution. No global warming. They say that women can't suck. No morning after pill. No contraception coverage.
No contraception coverage! Now you're pissing me off! Anybody that has ever driven on the 405 knows how important it is to not take away contraception rights. It already takes 45 minutes to get to Encino. Change the contraception laws and the new lanes that they are building for that freeway won't do jack. They'll be a fetus behind the wheel of all the brand new Fiats.
Most of the women that I know are having their vaginas explode with all of this retro rhetoric. The state of Virginia was trying to pass a law that allows penetrating in to a female's area that I rarely ever got to in my dating days. Women that I know want to go full Steinem on the religious right of right. They need help. It is time for the younger women to rise up. Stop texting. Stop playing Farmville. Don't let your Mamas do all the heavy lifting. They did that in the sixties and seventies. Your Moms could use a little assistance against this misguided social conservatism. You don't have to burn your bras unless you want to.
I wish that what was going on today was so out of the mainstream that I didn't have to worry about it. That teachers teaching science classes didn't have to be concerned about being burned at the stake. That women weren't getting probed by folks with a badge. That someone like Rick Santorum: A man that believes that the refrigerator light doesn't turn off when you close the door - A man that believes that a woman's prized possession is her apron - A man that believes that he would support a marriage between a man and a dog before he would support gay marriage - is considered a viable candidate. Not a viable candidate for a local council seat in upstate Pennsylvania but a viable candidate for the Presidency of the United States. I haven't been this scared since The Exorcist first came out. You have to be worried. Please, don't fall asleep out there.
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